I made up my bed

write_now_i_am I made up my bed

Depression is one of those feelings one just cannot pin down to one statement, only too many states in one minute, one hour, one day or even one week.

A piece of advice I had stumbled upon accidentally which meant little to me at the time, was to start with making my bed. 

Who really wants to get out of bed when you feeling down in the glumps?

Surely no depressed person. And by depressed, I am not using the term loosely but I am being open about my “condition“. I am a 33-year-old woman and I pop an anti-depressant once a day to cope with that the-gravity-of-earth-is-slowly-and-painfully-sucking-me-into-the-ground feeling.

“People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.” – A depression quote from HealthyPlace.com

Being clinically depressed, now retrenched and feeling quite redundant, a simple act of getting out of bed was challenging and felt impossible.

It took some time.

After a couple of weeks, I have decided to get up and get myself back.

I got out of bed, made up my bed and did a mini self-pampering session.

Realising that day, for the rest of the day, I had been happier than all the grey days passed. Making up my bed was a little push to exploring what else life has to offer.

Every day is different.

There are still days I wanna stay in bed, but it lasts for a couple of hours now.

Doing things at my own pace and letting go of the pressures of finding a new job and assisting with my part of the homely costs seemed to fade. I do know we need my income but the feeling does not weigh me down anymore. I feel less judged and even less of a redundant. In fact, I feel positive and I am grateful this happened to me. It happened and now I am able to do what I truly love. Write!

I am blessed.

My son loves that I am able to have breakfast with him and walk him to school. Being involved in my son’s daily activities allows me to get to know what he goes through in his little life. Guiding him through his school days helped me realise I am not redundant. We are connected on a deeper level now. I feel as though I am a mom. Really a mom for the first time in his life. And now, he has a tailor-made schedule to maximise his own true potential.

I see the change.

It starts with making your bed.

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6 thoughts on “I made up my bed

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